Traditions and Preparations for a Jewish Wedding

Customary rituals and practices of Jewish weddings are almost no different from their Christian counterparts including those of other religions and culture. Although variations may exist and are conspicuous, they are basically similar in intent.

Just like any other religion and culture, there are traditions and customs that must be adhered to before a Jewish wedding. Some of these customs are based on the cultural heritage of the Jews but are still observed today regardless if some of them are thousands of years old albeit with minor modifications.
The following are some common customs before a Jewish Wedding:
The Engagement (Tena’im)

In Jewish law and custom, engagement carries a radically different meaning than the intention to marry because a Jewish engagement contract (Tena’im) also involves the undertaking of substantial legal and social consequences. The engagement ritual is officiated at the groom’s table where he signs the engagement contract (in Aramaic) which is afterwards given to a prominent Rabbi or close friend to read publicly. After the public reading, the mothers of both bride and groom perform the ritual of breaking a china plate as a symbol announcing to one and all that the engagement agreement is completed to the satisfaction of all parties concerned.

The Te’naim is a legally binding agreement between the bride and groom’s parents that contains the pertinent information like the date and financial arrangements of the wedding. The practice of entering into such an agreement goes as far back as the 300 C.E. in order to do away with unsystematic wedding preparations and avoid misinterpretations that may lead to disagreements and awkward relationships not only between the couple but also between their families. The practice is mainly observed by the Orthodox Jewish community.

Aside from the Tena’im, other rituals and customs of a Jewish marriage are the giving of the ring (Eirusin) which signifies that the future bride cannot marry someone else even if they are not yet legally husband and wife; the bride’s acceptance of the ring (Qiddushin) and finally, sharing a home and consummating the marriage (Nissuin). The maximum allowable period for this is one year to prevent men from performing eirusin without committing to nisuin. When the allowable period has lapsed, Jewish courts can compel the man to support his bride. In the 12th century, the custom has evolved into the performance of eirusin in the morning followed by wedding celebrations with nisuin subsequently being performed before sunset. Modern day Jewish wedding rituals and customs are now done all in the span of one day due to business and work commitments and the changing times.


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